A Breath of Fresh Air

It’s February and my level of anxiety over parenting, politics, and possibilities had reached the point of sleeplessness.  It was time to take care of myself.  I drove for an hour to find my happy place.  At first, the drive itself made me anxious.  Should I really be driving so far away?  What if the school calls?  What if I’m late getting back to pick up the kids at school?

But, as soon as I left my shoes behind and my feet found the water, that all began to float away.  The water was SO cold, it made my feet numb.  

But, that didn’t stop these three surfers

from catching waves.

I ran, not for exercise, or time, or distance, but because it made me feel strong and free and young and happy.

I stopped to take pictures of the beauty that surrounded me.

And, then I stopped to take pictures of me, surrounded by all that beauty.

And, being here taking a picture in that icy cold water in February surrounded by all that beauty made me smile.

So, I took more pictures.  There were tide pools and patterns in the sand.

There were seashells for collecting.

And, interesting things that had washed up on the beach.

This “sea snake” was the size of a telephone pole.  I’ll bet it looked like the Loch Ness Monster floating in the sea.

It must have taken some very powerful waves to move it.  I wondered where it had been.

And, where will it go?  And, it made me think of where I’ve been and where I will go.

And, then the school called.  But they were just checking in.  One of my children had been having some anxiety, too.  But, is doing much better now.

So, I breathed.

And, I was grateful.

And, I took some more pictures.  Because, pictures make me happy and I can’t help it, especially when I see the sky reflected in water.

And, I saw things that reminded me of my three littles.

And, I thought how odd it was to be here taking pictures without them.  

But knew these pictures would bring me great joy when I got them home to edit them.

And share them.  

Because, sharing pictures brings me joy.

And, so, after all these years

of wondering what my blog should be about

I finally figured it out.

So, I will share my perspective and my journey through capturing what I see in the world

with whatever camera I have on hand because after studying photography for the past 5 years, I know it’s not really about the camera.

I asked this surfer if he was numb from being in this ice cold water for so long.  He said he was actually quite warm today.

And, I thought, yes!  I am quite warm today, too.  And, I no longer felt numb.  And, I thought of my three littles , again.

And, I realized how important it is to take care of my needs, too.  

That I’ll be a better mom if my own tank is full.

So, I will no longer apologize to my family for the time that my photography takes away from them.

Because, now I know as we continue our life’s journey, that it will give them back far more in return.  

Looking back, photography has always been my happy place.

It has allowed me to savor some very special moments.

As I left the beach, I promised I would be back, as I always do.  But, I also promised myself that when my possibilities scare me more than they excite me, that I would find my happy place and breath and be grateful.

And then, I went home.  Happier.  Healthier. Readier to take on whatever possibilities are to come.  And, I even made it back to pick up the kids at school with plenty of time to spare.